Epiphany

An epiphany (from the ancient Greek "ἐπιφάνεια", epiphaneia, “manifestation, striking appearance”) is the sudden realization or comprehension of the (larger) essence or meaning of something. ...en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epiphany_(feeling)  (in case you were wondering!!)

Any thought uttered, spoken or felt, at any given time, has the potential to be an epiphany. Or an epiphanus moment if you will!

My thought process is evolving. 

I go through spurts of awareness about every seven years. Lessons and awareness happen.
About a year in to the  process, my brain usually decides it is filled to capacity.  It's time close off the input to process the information I have been open to absorbing. 

It  doesn't happen as quick, dried and simple as that last statement suggests, but come it does.

I am not a social creature.  Many life experiences, genetics and career choices contribute to this.  I have some social issues, topic for another day.  I always have my small core group of people I love though, and more often than not, a dog too, so I am not isolated.

I have some trust issues, again a topic for another day. 

My guy and I are still living on one of the smaller gulf Islands. We don't go out much, me by choice, him, I think, by choice and design. 

My guy has a couple of friends here on this Island that he has known for many years.  They are both in a 12 step program.  We occasionally go to a Friday night meeting, if for no other reason, to simply get out for couple of hours and socialise.

We had an opportunity to attend an 11 day retreat/healing journey at a local resort on reservation land a couple of months ago.  It was a great time of growth for myself and for my mate.  As well as having three very articulate and gifted program co-ordinators, we had all our meals prepared for us, we had our own rooms that were tidied everyday, energy healing was made available as well as massage and a hot tub to soak in every night.

It was after I had been home for a couple of weeks I began to realise I was reaping the benefits of having taken that opportunity to continue on my healing journey.  I am more readily able and willing to chase the negative thoughts out of my head.  I am more able to communicate clearly and articulately with my mate.

I notice many changes in his baviour also.  Positive changes.

As I mentioned, my guy has two close friends on this island. 

One is about a decade older than him. 

He is a mentor/father figure/friend to my guy. He has experienced some turbulent times recently.  His mate died 3 months ago.  His home as he knew it, is changing,disappearing.
He handles all life gives him with such grace.

The other friend is around my guy's age.  They know each other from shared life experience back in the day.  He is a hunter.  He is recovering from a severe blow to the head.  The blow on the head happened to him around the same time I met my guy so I had no preconceived notions of how/who he is/was. 
I have known him for 18 months now and I see a warm, kind, caring, intelligent( and from what I can tell somewhat perverted)((not in a creepy way)) emerging.

As I was sitting in the meeting last Friday night, there were only 5 of us there, it was my turn to talk.  It's never mandatory, but if I wanted, the floor it was mine.

I seldom say much, a few perfunctory words.  I allow my shyness to take over and quickly say 'Thanks for coming out" and pass the ball to the next person

This time, as I looked around the table at the the other folks; a local woman that shows up regularly, she has many issues but I see her struggling to be whole human; the friend/mentor/FF;  the buddy the same age and my guy, sitting beside me, I felt a comfort zone. 

As I looked at those three men  it hit me with a bolt of clarity, that I trusted them.  All three of them.
Completely.

It was an over powering moment for me. 
When we were home after the meeting, I was telling my guy about my experience.

The emotion of the moment made me cry.

I have trusted before, but not with such clarity and understanding.

Epiphany; the core essence of what something truly means.